natashka's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- thanksgiving turkeys, including the guests cut from an email i sent to a friend: thanks for the note, T. it's not every day that i get to enter my LATE THIRTIES...but i'm holding up well so far. classes end in a week; i have a shitload of work to do, and i can't wait for it to be over. i can't wait for this fricken year to be over, come to think of it. i have not much else to report. except that the stress of school has brought on a rather nasty episode of super rapid cycling between abject depression and rather wonky mania. it changes within 24 hours it's so fast. the depression sucks, the mania is fun fun fun, and i'm not getting anything accomplished. i was even thinking of quitting my job earlier today because i had convinced myself that they are planning to fire me, which is ridiculous. go me. i had a pretty good turkey day. i made dinner (which was fabulous, but a lot of work. next year i think i'm going to do it potluck style and just do turkey, stuffing, and gravy, then have everyone bring a side dish...) and made sure everyone left me alone (then again, i really like the left alone part). we invited the upstairs neighbor, which will not be happening again. the guy is in his fifties and still hasn't figured out how to be polite, use his inside voice, listen, etc. maybe he skipped kindergarten or some shit, because he was some fuckedup combination of totally obnoxious and grateful/fawning/creepy. you know the kind. imagine you just had sex on the second date with a guy and he gets all psycho on you with, "oh my god, i love you, don't ever leave me, etc." i KNOW you've been there, sister. i mean, i don't know about you, but if the dude i just hung out with is so pathetic that I'M the highlight of his year/life like the last thread of hope, i'm outta there so fast you'll see skidmarks. this thanksgiving was like the highlight of his last ten years, and then he started rambling about this dream he has of getting a house in eugene with a few people... as if. and don't get me started with him showing up at 10 AM to "check on things". he says, "wanna smoke a bowl"? and i say, "do you want to be eating dessicated turkey with no gravy five hours from now? because that's probably what'll happen if i smoke a bowl at TEN FUCKING AM. I"M STILL IN MY PYJAMAS...grumble, grumble, grumble..." so we shove him off and he comes back an hour and a half later. like, are we allowed to vacuum the house and have a sex life?! GO AWAY!! i got pretty nasty with him and told him we were busy and not to come back until the other guests arrived. sheez. he thanked me for cooking this stupid fucking turkey not less than twenty times that day, and then tried to darken my door the next morning for "leftovers" by being all thankful again. it's that really gross, manipulative, set-up technique that men use to get sex, food, whatever, from women..."oh, you're so wonderful to do this, you're so great, blah, blah, blah...can i come over tomorrow for leftovers?" and then later, when we're watching a movie, he starts talking, loudly, to no one in particular, trying to get attention. colin had to tell him to shut up. i swear, the powers that be need to put people like him in halfway houses or something. it was ridiculous, and i will never provide charity dinners for the socially retarded again. all things considered, it wasn't too bad. it seems as though every gathering of this nature has someone in it that sort of spoils it for everyone a little bit. shit, i hope i haven't been that person. well, it's obvious to me that this is yet another of my psychotic seething rants, and it is way the hell past my bedtime. thanks again for the note...and i now realize i forgot your birthday. i'm thinking it was last month or so. what is the date? i'm also thinking about gastric bypass surgery, but i need to gain another 30 pounds first. the sad part is that i'm only half kidding. ack! i have a wonderful life, i really really do. i'm just not in the kind of mood to express that stuff... i'll be better in a week or two. 3:11 a.m. - 2002-12-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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